Malaysians Being Malaysians Laa Kan?

Ooooh!My first blog from UK!I was thinking of writing about all the stuff I've been up to etc etc but I already have Facebook to do that so why repeat myself right?I've only been here for one week,but it definitely feels like it's been far longer. It may still be premature to pass judgement on certain things,but since it's a matter of opinion after all it doesn't matter now,does it?

I haven't been writing much substance lately,and I fear that I have gotten rusty.So please bear with the (perhaps) sweeping statements I may end up making.


*Ahem*


People always say certain things before you enter university,or before you fly overseas.Certainly,people will always set you up for an environment which they will describe based on their view,which may sometimes be distorted because of their bias.The bias could either be in favour,or against,the situation that you are to encounter.

With that prologue,allow me to paraphrase some of the descriptions of Warwick and my accommodation hall,Rootes,to you :

Warwick Descriptions:

1. KYUEM the 2nd kot!Sumpah bosan.. (It's KYUEM the 2nd!It's bloody boring..)
2. Hulu dowh....(It's sooo rural...)
   
3. Takde benda nak buat malam-malam.Bukan macam London... (There's nothing to do at night,unlike London...)

Rootes Descriptions:

1. Bising ah malam-malam.Tak aman hidup...(It's noisy at night.No peace and quiet at all..)
2. Taubat ah duduk situ.Memang sampai bila-bila tak boleh nak adapt dengan culture diorang.(You'll regret staying there.You will never be able to adapt to their culture)
3. Memang setiap hari kena kemas botol arak ah..(You'll definitely end up clearing beer cans everyday..)

For all the doom and gloom I was suppose to go through in Warwick,I'm actually happy here.To qualify all the descriptions of Warwick,yes,this is quite similar to KYUEM and it is rather secluded.But there are obvious differences.For one thing,buses run through the campus regularly,so there's always the chance to go out to Coventry and hang out there.Coventry may not be anything close to London,but it has all the basic stores you expect to see in the UK.Primark,M&S,Debenham's,Costa Coffee,WHS,just to name a few,are all in town.Buses and trains to different parts of the UK are abundant,so you're not really isolated and left to fend for yourselves.And there are stuff to do at night on campus itself.The partying people can go partay since there are different themes every night at the campus club.Sometimes artistes come and perform as well (For example last Tuesday,some Brit singer sang.He's big here,only I haven't heard of him).The cultured ones can watch theater or orchestra,which are performed regularly at the Arts Centre.And the ones who come are those who have performed in London and have had reviews (good ones) written about them.The ones who like to hang out can do that as well since the on-campus bistro is open till late (although they stop selling by 11.00pm).So it's not really all that bad.

On a more personal level,I like it this way,living in a campus.The close proximity to friends.The feeling of youth flowing through my veins when I walk around campus,seeing other young people walk about with the faintest hint of a skip in their steps.The never-ending laughter when I hang out everyday.The politics and drama that is inevitable when you live in such a close-knit community.It feels more like university that way. Different people may prefer different things,but I doubt that I'll be happy staying so far away from friends in London.Cooking by myself,for myself,at night.Going through the hustle and bustle of the metropolitan crowd while I make my way to classes.I really think that falling short of straight As in A-levels and coming here instead is a blessing in disguise.

As for the descriptions of Rootes,I would say that such descriptions are actually reflective of Malaysian,and arguably,Malay society in particular.I am in no position to brush off their opinion about living in Rootes,notorious as a "party hall".It's true,people living here generally like to go partying since it's so close to the on-campus club.And as a result,it can get bothersome sometimes.But honestly,it hasn't been troublesome for me at all.Yeah,the Brits can get a bit too drunk once in a while,to which they'll get a bit noisy.Yeah,I've seen them playing drinking games in the kitchen and do the Hokey-Pokey right outside my window (which means right outside the hall;I stay on the topmost floor).The chants of "DRINK DRINK DRINK" which you see so often in movies too I have witnessed.But hey!That's just their culture.However you disagree with their way of life, they have never once asked me to make their way of living mine as well.

It's not expected that I embrace their culture,but it is expected that I understand and accept their culture.One of many things we can learn from the Mat Salleh is their respect for other people's beliefs and customs.They are perfectly cool with me not drinking.They respect the fact that I can't eat pork and non-halal meat.Even the bizarre custom of taking of your shoes when you enter someone's house (or in this case,someone's room) they can comply to. This is perhaps the closest resemblance of a non-judgemental society I have seen.And yet the comments made about people living in Rootes are among the most judgemental I have heard.Just because they live according to their culture,we will be miserable living among them.

I don't know what others before me went through,but I sometimes wonder if they sit at the same table with their flatmates for breakfast and ask how last night's party went,or cook dinner while they cook theirs and ask how tonight's party's going to be.Because if they did,then I wonder how they never got used to living among the Westerners.I'm not saying that it is a must to be best friends with them,I'm saying that there is a must to befriend them.They really are nice people,even when they just came back from the pub and aren't exactly sober.

Then again,acceptance of Western culture is hard to achieve when interaction with different nationalities (especially non-Muslim ones) are minimal and solely academic at best.It is either a curse or a blessing that there are so many Malaysians in Warwick (to which I like to use the term Kampung 1Malaysia).The support system here is excellent,and the togetherness of the community is wonderful.But,true to the double-edged sword nature of having too many Malaysians in one place,it also means that there is a perpetual comfort zone to sink into.And as the complacency sinks in,it becomes very hard to break out of that comfort zone and start interacting with different people.You end up very cliquish instead and go back to Malaysia no less wiser than had you studied in a local varsity instead.

We are in the UK after all.The thoughts that run through our heads shouldn't be 1)Study, 2)Get a degree, 3)Go back home.It's such a waste of money to enrol in the UK if that is the ultimate aim.Many Malaysians come here under scholarship.It can perhaps be said that there is moral obligation to one's sponsors to benefit fully from an overseas education and repay the investment made on the said scholar upon completing the said course.Even if one isn't under scholarship,one still has to repay one's parents' investment.

But it can't be helped can it?It is so much easier to speak in Malay and hang out among other Malaysians than to speak English and eat breakfast for 15 minutes with someone from a different country.Perhaps it is embedded in us to not want to stray away from the boundaries of that comfort zone of ours.

It's not that difficult really!One doesn't have to ditch one's kinsman,it is only natural that one's primary group of friends are from the same background.Heck,my circle of friends here are Malaysians!But while one sticks with one's Malaysian friends,it is still possible to get to know people from say Vietnam,or Poland,or Italy,or Mauritius,or Hong Kong,or Lithuania,or Canada,or...(I can go on and on about the new friends I've made from different countries) you get the point. It's really a question of your objective: Get a degree?Or enrich your life experience in the process?

Again I must reiterate that after one week it's still premature of me to draw conclusions.But the signs are rather telling.It's a culture I suppose,one that's deeply entrenched and nearly impossible to change.

So what right?Things like this are also what's unique about learning in the UK.You won't see for yourself unless you're right here.

Anyhow,I've rambled more than I thought I would.

Cheers!

The Last Week

I know this but I haven't quite realised it just yet. This time in 96 hours I'll be on a plane headed to London.I should be making an effort to pay "goodbye visits" to everyone and anyone that I know.I should gobble down as much essence of Malaysia a.k.a food before I start missing them on a cold winter evening.I'm amazingly void of any sentimentality whatsoever.I suppose everything's just too surreal.

Barely 3 weeks ago I was going to enroll in Taylors to re-sit my Maths paper in hopes that I'll get a scholarship to fly next year.Next thing I know,a whole new opportunity presented itself to me and suddenly I was UK bound again.While most people get the realisation that they're leaving after everything sinks in, I haven't had the luxury of time to let things sink in.It's all a race against time to make sure everything's in place before I board the plane.Maybe while I'm amusing myself with the in-flight entertainment then the realisation will come.

Then again,I think my lack of emotions (referring to my lack of nostalgia,homesickness etc) is because I know that this journey is only temporary.I'm not saying "goodbye",I'm saying "see you later".I'm already looking at flight tickets back to Malaysia in December.I have a certain party and my cousins' (they're twins) kenduri kekah to attend.And I already promised to meet up with a few people in 3 months time.

So while UK's a 13 hour flight away from Malaysia,to me it feels like a bus ride from Kuala Kangsar to KL,a ride I've taken God-knows-how-many times.I'm coming back often anyway.Which will mean I have to save a lot.

I've been meaning to pen down my thoughts throughout my turbulent month.I don't know if I ever will.It's better to keep moving forward anyway.

So I'll leave it at that for now.Selamat Hari Raya everyone, and forgive me for all the wrong I've done.


The Last Raya.Kononnya.

*My flight's on the 2nd of October (Friday) at 11.40 p.m.Just in case anybody wants to come and send me off.But that's just wishful thinking.

Things have become very trite for me. I am worn out and completely devoid of any self-motivation. Which is quite bad. I always pull through these low-points.Always.

Yet I find myself at this point,where I wake up in the mornings,worn out as if I've been out all night and not even getting 10 minutes sleep, drag myself out of bed, thinking of 1001 excuses to excape the mundane routine which is work,ending up going to work eventually and wallowing in self-pity.

It is made worse by feeling so powerless and helpless to do anything. Some things have always been beyond my control,and yet I now feel as if everything's beyond my control.

I can't control my working life. I can't control how much sleep and rest I get. I couldn't control the outcome of my exams, and I can't control the subsequent consequences. But worst of all, I can't control what happens to Azwan Arif.

The rush of emotions have failed to come, since my results were announced; since Fiqss called at 10.00 pm on Tuesday saying that Azwan got into a bad accident; since I knew the details of that accident;since I answered numerous calls and replied numerous SMSes about Azwan; since I went to Hospital Sg Buloh and seeing his family trying to be strong;since I saw Tiger looking battered and devastated,perhaps feeling guilty being one of those in the car with Azwan yet coming out unscathed;since Afifah called,feeling guilty that she teased Azwan so much last weekend;since reading so many blogs wishing and praying for his recovery;since checking his Wall on Facebook and seeing how so many people care about him and are praying for him.

The lack of emotions is eating me from within more than anything. How can I not worry about him? He's my best friend. He just called me minutes before the accident, trying to cheer me up and promising he'll call me back later that night. And now,he's lying unconscious in ICU, reportedly stable (Alhamdulillah), while we pray, and remain blissfully ignorant of the possible risks to his health.

This,more than anything is messing me up. I have not even come to terms yet with my results and my fate with my scholarship, and there is no need to worry about that now, not to me. It feels as if I haven't slept for 60 hours already.

At least I'm touched that so many people out there care about him so much.

I won't write down any touching get well words for him here. I'll tell it to him when he wakes up. InsyaAllah.

And now the emotions are starting to flow.

Oit.Cepat bangun.Aku tak cukup gambar dua orang dengan kau!

P/s : For updates on Azwan,please feel free to drop by my Facebook page.

Demam

This is the second time I've fallen sick in 2 weeks..

I don't usually fall ill.In 5 years in koleq, I fell ill twice. Once in Form Two and once in Form Four. Throughout the 5 years there, no problem whatsoever. And in KYUEM, I've only fallen ill once in the 2 years there. So how is it that I've fallen sick twice in 2 weeks now that I'm OUT of any learning institution?

Two thoughts came to mind this morning when I woke up, feeling like crap.

1) The air in KL is unhealthy.That's the only explanation I can think of to understand how I'm healthy in Kuala Kangsar and Lembah Beringin, yet frequently sick in KL.

2) I'm appreciative of the fact that I can choose to sit at home and recover from my illness.Sometime in the future,when I grow up and start working for real,it might reach a point that I'd endure the sickness because I just HAVE to go to work.Not for the pay,but because there'll be bucketload full assignments and projects and meetings and whatever to be completed/managed/attended/etc.At least it's proof that I haven't grown up too quickly, that being sick is still a big deal.Haha

Owh.In case I made some lost by suddenly talking about work,I've been working for 4-5 weeks now at PROPEL.Got another 3 weeks to go,since the boss wants me to extend my stay there.

Anyhow,the pills are doing their job and now I'm drowsy.

Toodles.

Bitch Reunion Edisi Pertama : Edisi Lembah Klang

Mereka yang hadir :

1. Farquar Haqqani (Penganjur)
2. Ahmad Firdaus (Pengurus Kewangan yang tidak efisyen, dan akan dilucutkan jawatan bagi Edisi Kedua)
3. Nabil Khorlid (AJK Shah Alam; calon terutama bagi jawatan Pengurus Kewangan, memandangkan beliau sedang mengambil kualifikasi profesional dalam bidang perakaunan)
4. Farhan Sobri
5. Adli Shamsuddin
6. Affendy Hasni
7. Yuhaikal Fitri

Tidak hadir :

1. Rafizi Ramli (Latihan Mighty Ducks)
2. Rashad Tajuddin (Perkhemahan Certified Accounting Technician [CAT])
3. Amirul Asyraf (Tidak dapat dihubungi)

Tidak terjemput :

1. Izzat Jonid ( Sibuk sehingga menghantar SMS pada tengah malam, dan pagi berikutnya, meminta bantuan untuk mengtafsirkan terma-terma ke bahasa Inggeris)
2. Aslam Abd Jalil (Berada di Tanah Tinggi Cameron)
3. Helman Hashim (Berada di Kem Tentera Sungai Besi)
4. Zulikhwan Ayub (Berada di Kuala Nerang, Kedah)
5. Bukhari Yusof (Berada di France)

Laporan :

Setelah menghypekan Bitch Reunion Edisi Pertama (BREP) selama hampir seminggu (sebenarnya tiga hari je..), siap dengan drama berbentuk panggilan telefon dari orang-orang tertentu, merayu agar BREP ditangguhkan, bekas-bekas ahli MCKK De-bitch-ing Team telah dikumpulkan dalam suatu sesi yang penuh sempoi dan tidak serius, untuk berseronok dan bergembira, pada 11 Julai 2009 di The Curve, Mutiara Damansara.

Antara aktiviti yang dijalankan termasuklah bergosip dan mengutuk orang, bermain di arked, beratur untuk menonton wayang, bermain pool, dan berkaraoke.

Babak-babak yang menarik (pada pendapat penganjur) termasuklah :

• Mendengar penjual tiket di Cineleisure menggalakkan kami agar tidak menonton "Obsessed", lakonan Beyonce Knowles, lalu menasihati agar kami membeli DVD cetak rompak sahaja.
• Melihat Che Nab bermain Air Hockey dengan kelebihan ketinggiannya yang mencecah 190cm, lalu membolehkannya memukul diskus hoki yang lebih hampir kepada lawannya daripada dirinya sendiri. (Bayangkan meja ping pong, dan bayangkan Che Nab memukul bola di belah lawannya dari belahnya sendiri sebagai analogi)
• Melihat Fendy dan Yuhaikal berpura-pura kurus dan mengongsi satu pinggan Mihun Singapura (Kata mereka kongsi berdua, tetapi berdasarkan saiz badan lebih layak dikatakan kongsi berempat)
• Melihat Fido cuba bermain pool tetapi menjolok angin, dan bukannya bola putih seperti yang sepatutnya.
• Melihat eD berpura-pura ingin “mencuba” untuk bermain pool (setelah melihat betapa teruknya Fido bermain) sedangkan dia seorang sahaja reti bermain.
• Mendengar Baku menyanyi dan mengagumi vocal range nya yang amatlah sama dengan penyanyi-penyanyi Westlife.
• Melihat kerenah orang-orang lain berkaraoke dengan penuh syok sendiri di dalam booth karaoke jamban yang lain (diupgrade ke karaoke shower sempena keluasan booth di Cineleisure berbanding karaoke jamban lain)
• Melihat Fido memandu kereta dengan penuh kurang beretika kerana haram tidak mahu memberi sebarang indicator ketika membelok, menukar lane, mahupun ketika berhenti di tengah-tengah jalan (mujurlah tiada kereta pada jam dua pagi)

Melihat kemeriahan dan kejayaan BREP, penganjur amatlah bermotivasi tinggi untuk merancang Bitch Reunion Edisi Kedua, Ketiga, dan seterusnya, yang pasti lebih ekstensif. Antara rancangan-rancangan yang difikirkan termasuklah ekspedisi ke Lembah Beringin dan/atau ke Cameron Highland bagi melawat bitch-bitch yang terabai di tempat-tempat sebegitu yakni Zulikhwan dan Aslam. Lawatan ke Kem Tentera Sungai Besi turut mungkin diuruskan bagi melawat satu-satunya bitch tentera iaitu Helman.

Penganjur menyusun sepuluh jari meminta maaf andainya terdapat sebarang silap mahupun cacat cela dalam pengurusan dan penganjuran BREP. Semoga kita akan bertemu lagi dalam masa terdekat ini.

Sekian.

I have probably had more contact with those from my MCKK life in these past 2 weeks than in most of the past 2 years in KYUEM. After making new friends, it’s so easy to forget about the old ones. I’m glad about these reunions; they have reminded me of the wonderful support system I had all along in MCKK, and they have worked wonders to reinforce my belief that time and distance can never break the bonds I have with the people I cherish most. Bonds like these shall last for eternity. InsyaAllah.

PPM Nostalgia

I remember this time in 2006. This exact time, three years ago. This was the time I became extremely introvert, locking myself in my room, licking my wounds of defeat and nursing my battered pride. Elsewhere, Bucks and eD would be coping with defeat too. The devastation of failing as a Koleq debater to win, of failing to do your brothers and your team proud, hurt so much.

There were so many lessons I learnt over the three years as a debater, learning from Raf, Ben, Shahrol, Dany, Rizal, Fazurin, Sani, Chamat, Allen and Canoe. I learnt the value of brotherhood, not just the brotherhood that all budak koleq take pride in, but unconditional, unadulterated love and respect for each other. I learnt about selflessness, about swallowing my pride and eating humble pie for the sake of the team. I learnt about sacrifice, about giving up on everything else to be able to give my all for the team. I learnt about humility, about knowing my place in this world and that there is always someone better than you. I learnt a myriad of values, but it’s ironic that it took defeat to learn about justice. It needed one devastating blow to finally understand that the world is unfair. That you can give your all, put everything on the line, only to have mediocrity succeed. The snobbishness that characterises a budak koleq became clear. It is not because we believe we are better than everyone else, it’s because we abhor mediocrity that is allowed to prevail. We are snobbish because we cannot accept inferiors who rule us, for meritocracy should always prevail. And the biggest lesson from defeat was that it is upon us, who learnt of justice, to seek it. To maintain a high code of honour. To continue living with the astronomically high standards that we pitch ourselves against. To do what is right, not what is easy.

It has never escaped my mind, or anyone else’s from my generation, to continue giving back to Koleq’s team. Each and everyone of us desired nothing more than to coach our successors. To teach them what we have learnt. To turn boys into grown men. To seek the justice that we were denied. And every year, we are reminded of the lessons that we were taught, and the lessons we are teaching. We have never won because we never back down on our values. The ethoses that we build the team upon are incorruptible. And it always takes defeat to reinforce those values. But after going through emotional roller coasters year in and year out, the desire to coach still burns strongly. We don’t care if the world turns its back on us. Because the romanticism and belief that honourable values will always take you far in life is something that we cherish. We shall be damned if ever we dumb down for the sake of winning. It’s not about the destination, it’s the journey that matters.

Reading accounts of this year’s PPM from Koleq’s debaters, both past and present, it is clear that we have achieved the greatest victory of all : the development of our very own debaters to have the team ethoses and integrity that we hope of them.

On my part personally, I have walked down a path differently than I envisaged 3 years ago. As time past by, I became less able to offer my physical presence as a coach. But I have never stopped wanting to contribute. To give back to the essence of my 5 years in MCKK. But that’s life. It takes us to destinations that we never dream of going to. But it’s always our thoughts and our sincerity that brings us back together. Amazing how the debating team still teaches me new lessons even though I have stopped debating.

The desire for vindication no longer drives me now. 3 years after a Quarterfinal defeat and I’ve already come such a long way, and I have a long arduous road ahead of me. It’s the bigger picture that counts. I’m thankful to have learnt so much from debating. And I hope, miniscule as my contribution may be, that I can continue contributing to a coaching team that touches so many lives. For what is a life without servitude.

I have congratulated you before, but you deserve more credit than I gave you. Congratulations Zulikhwan for getting the Bank Negara scholarship and for being awarded the SBP Full Colours award. From the boy who got mad at me for getting all the Best Speaker awards in North Zone PPM 2006 and jadi kuli batak in PPM, you have come a long way.

Finally!

At long last,my first A-Level paper!So it's make or break time starting tomorrow..

Wish me luck!